CHOICE OF GRATIFICATION

In our lives we always have a choice, and every choice gives some satisfaction. All depends on the satisfaction we choose and the cost of each satisfaction.

Broadly I can say there is immediate satisfaction and delayed satisfaction. Immediate satisfaction normally calls for little time for evaluation and always has to do with the cost in tomorrow. Delayed satisfaction pays today and earns tomorrow.

Choice of  delayed satisfaction normally earns triple the pleasure of immediate satisfaction. It earns from the pleasure of knowing you have chosen rightly, the pleasure of expectation and lastly it earns from the success that comes with it.

Delayed satisfaction actually seeks deeper satisfaction with self. The deeper knowledge of self management and choice is good for personal growth.

Delayed satisfaction is actually healing to the mind. You feel much better and happier when you know you have chosen well. Mostly happens when you have chosen to overlook your impulses, to look at the deeper satisfactions.

APPRECIATE THE PRESENT TOO

Many people have a natural tendency of looking at the past and thinking that they were happier, much better off. Another tendency is that of looking at the future as more hopeful which is good for the mental health of a person.

The problem is not with thinking of the beauty of the past or looking at the future with optimism. The problem is the perspective that a person may have of the present. People who tend to look at the beauty of the past and the hope of the future normally tend to think of the present as the worst point of time to be in.

If you take a rational perspective of this, you will find out that the past you appreciate created the present you live. The present you curse will soon be birthing the future you hope for.

The most important thing every person must do is appreciate the past, accept the present and most importantly, create the future. I normally say that we live in an eternal present.

FACING TOMORROW WITH OPTIMISM

I once met a phrase that said; if life served you lemons you should create lemonades. No situation in this world comes without an opportunity.  The Chinese have a proverb that says; crisis is an opportunity riding on dangerous winds. Instead of sulking and sitting back we should be more adventurous to look for opportunities in unimaginable places.

However this takes some effort to rise above the feeling of despair and walk into the dangerous winds where your opportunities are. The truth is that most people who made it to their greatest height had a moment of crisis that made them rise to that spot you and me admire.

Tomorrow is a dream for all of us, however depending on whether you are optimistic or not. It will be a sweet dream or a nightmare.

 You may wonder what a man can do to change his attitude from despair to that one who is optimistic. You can try to do this as you go on facing the turbulent situation that you are in.
These are some things we can do to improve our tomorrow despite the situation of today.

Get a grip of yourself:
Accept that the situation is not good but it does not have to worry you because it cannot be that way forever. Have hope and believe that in that desperate situation there is possibly a way to whatever goal you desire to walk to.

Try to feel content:
Try to feel content but not complacent; by that, I mean that you should accept that if you are alive and still able to work you can still find a way out. Accept it ambitiously; accept it with a better focus on the future. Try to find even the smallest possibility of success and follow it till you find where it leads you to.

Set goals, little achievable goal:
It is the most important part that helps a person to strengthen belief in self. When you set goals, and you achieve them step by step, then you start seeing yourself as a winner. Achieving a goal, however little is the first step towards achieving greater goals. It is training and a conditioning that makes you believe in your ability to succeed.

Envision yourself where you desire to be:      
This is the best part; believe you will enjoy living. This with the tiny possible goals you have set put you forward for achieving success and leading a happier life.


Know the mission of your life:
This gives you the light of your day. It gives you a reason to exist in each day in the pursuit of your life goals. For instance, your life can make improving your social relations the mission of your life, being economically stable. This is in line with your long time vision, the life you ultimately desire.
Find the tactics that will lead you home:
Get the mechanism to approach the goal you desire to achieve. Do them in the order the success they give to you and satisfaction. You can always try to put the things you enjoy the last for two reasons. The first is that they can waste your time. The second is that they relieve the possible you may have had the whole day.
Start walking steadily knowing where you are headed:

Start walking to your destination steadily. Whatever you do, know where you are headed.

DEALING WITH DESPAIR

Many of the people reading this post are familiar with despair. That feeling of not going on with whatever you are doing. This feeling can be strong enough to lead a person to give up on life and opt to conclude it or just mild and can last only for a few days, a few hours, a few minutes or a few seconds.

The very foundation of this feeling is a state of crushed optimism. There are times when despair is actually helpful, but there are times when it is not a question. Despairing when you are in an abusive relationship can be a beginning to search for a good relationship. Sometimes giving in to despair can open your eyes to new hope.

However you must know that there are some things you should never despair about; living and yourself. If you do that you are slowly getting destroyed. You can despair about the methods you use to achieve your goals that you hold so dear if they have consistently failed you but never despair about the goal. There are many ways of killing a rat, you can sit on it, and you can set a trap or poison it. You can despair on killing a rat by sitting on it but not killing the rat. You can despair in keeping a relationship where you are being abused, but never give up on enjoying new relationships.

No emotion in a man is valueless even despair is valuable; the most important thing is how to deal with the emotion. Do not fear the feeling of despair, but fear the feeling of despair on your life goals, yourself and life. Despair on your life, yourself or your goals can destroy and make you lose a lot.

Despair has only one remedy; hope. Hope is the possibility of success even when it seems impossible to attain. It takes away the despair and keeps you moving. It is not wrong to fail to achieve a goal using a particular method; your success can come through another method.

To gain hope when despair has set in, you can possibly accept it and allow it to settle. Then take a positive look at it. Look at what caused it and what you can do about it then face your despair. Above everything look at the possibility of you achieving the goal you set out to achieve.

Do not lie to yourself that that you are facing a desperate situation, but take conscious steps to live normally. Most importantly take your time to eat, play and talk as usual. Take deliberate actions to act normally with people. When there is great need, tell people you are bound to deal with that you are dealing with a situation. When you act normally the internal body acts in a way to support this positive life and feeling. That way you will overcome despair.

 Allow the feeling to pass but do not allow it to determine who you will be when it lasts.

HOPE

I am motivated each day I wake up by the hope there always is for everyone on earth. It has possibly ever occurred to you that no one sees tomorrow as completely hopeless, everyone sees some little promise in whatever they do. They transfer that hope in tomorrow.

Another contradicting fact about life is that people see it to be hard. Some people have even said that the only way to make it easy is to accept that it is hard and it will never be easy. Life is indeed hard, but the question I try to answer each time I write or read is; could life possibly be easier?

I think life at personal level is actually easy but living with the general society is a little bit difficult. I tend to think all animals live, however hard the circumstances are. They still live and live well unto death. Clinging to one thing that human being know but hardly use; hope.

Look at the wild of Kalahari, the animals hunt to that very last breath. Human being of all creation are the ones that end their lives, it looks as if they have used up all their hope. If only people knew that the little hope left is their entire chance and it means the entire world. Life would be easier. All the difference is made by that slim possibility.

Maybe your destiny is not in the place where your eye is focused on but it is somewhere. No one ever runs out of what to hope for till finally life its self is over.  That is the concept I try to put forward.