CHOICE OF GRATIFICATION

In our lives we always have a choice, and every choice gives some satisfaction. All depends on the satisfaction we choose and the cost of each satisfaction.

Broadly I can say there is immediate satisfaction and delayed satisfaction. Immediate satisfaction normally calls for little time for evaluation and always has to do with the cost in tomorrow. Delayed satisfaction pays today and earns tomorrow.

Choice of  delayed satisfaction normally earns triple the pleasure of immediate satisfaction. It earns from the pleasure of knowing you have chosen rightly, the pleasure of expectation and lastly it earns from the success that comes with it.

Delayed satisfaction actually seeks deeper satisfaction with self. The deeper knowledge of self management and choice is good for personal growth.

Delayed satisfaction is actually healing to the mind. You feel much better and happier when you know you have chosen well. Mostly happens when you have chosen to overlook your impulses, to look at the deeper satisfactions.

APPRECIATE THE PRESENT TOO

Many people have a natural tendency of looking at the past and thinking that they were happier, much better off. Another tendency is that of looking at the future as more hopeful which is good for the mental health of a person.

The problem is not with thinking of the beauty of the past or looking at the future with optimism. The problem is the perspective that a person may have of the present. People who tend to look at the beauty of the past and the hope of the future normally tend to think of the present as the worst point of time to be in.

If you take a rational perspective of this, you will find out that the past you appreciate created the present you live. The present you curse will soon be birthing the future you hope for.

The most important thing every person must do is appreciate the past, accept the present and most importantly, create the future. I normally say that we live in an eternal present.

THE PRICE OF PLEASURE

Giving up the things that excite us for while for a success that we perceive to be the greater goal is the ideal joy of life.

Life is easy if only you ignore taking the easier path and make action even if it is hard. There is a price that you will have to pay if you are to succeed. Success is basically what you call it because it is only you who gets fulfilled. 

The path to success and true gratification is full of things you have to do as opposed to things you wish to do. Yet at the end of the journey you find fulfillment. The first thing I was ever told about success in life was to follow my passion. But the time I started pursuing my passion, I found out that it was all but work and if I would follow my passion to the ultimate success, sometimes I would have to give up on pleasurable things like sleep.

Giving up the things that excite us for while for a success that we perceive to be the greater goal is the ideal joy of life. It is all like a game, when you are playing a puzzle, you seem to find joy in the little milestone but a sense of true contentment when you are done. Let us take example of a marathon race, very few find it pleasurable to run the miles but they find gratification in the medal. Giving up junk food to remain a supermodel seems worth the cost.

You must learn to set your eyes on the prize, and the walk to the goal will be pleasurable. When slaves begun seeking emancipation they risked everything for the possibility of walking in a free world. Some died but during their fight they set their eyes on their highest attainable goal which was freedom.

STAND OUT AND THEY WILL FIT IN

You may have ever had the feeling to please someone desperately. You may also have found yourself in a place where you feel like you have to make a choice between doing something that you feel that you have to do and doing something that someone wishes you to do. It feels like it is a hard choice if it is someone who you wish to make happy.

Learn to be as comfortable alone as you are in the company of your friends. 

A time comes when your joy comes from your achievements. You start achievements then you realize that you have to sometimes act as you deem right to achieve your goals. This is a very important step towards independence. Remember that being able to support your self is your greatest contribution to the society.

It is natural at any point in life to feel the need to be the alpha (influential person, leader, head). Just like you, the people around you have the same desire to be the alpha. Naturally they will try to make you follow them most of the time to satisfy this desire. But you should always remember that the most important thing is to make yourself independent. No man is an island but try all the possible times to be an island. Let people follow you and fit your description of friend and choose among your friends those who are as independent as you.

Do not always be the one to follow, learn to be alone. Then slowly people will learn to follow you, do not be the one to always take example of others, and sometimes be the one setting the example.  Just be yourself. Allow yourself to listen to advice but take actions whose consequences you are 100% ready to handle.

Do not be hard and unconcerned about others, but have a few things that you hold close and you would not give them up. Let people identify you with them, whether you fit in or not. You now things that are truly right, you can follow when someone is truly right and it is the right time to.

Most of the problems people sort are caused by the fear to be alone. If you can see that the choice is independent as much as you make it to fit in you can be liberated. You may start binge drinking as a group and all of you become alcoholics, but each of you will be dealing with the problem individually.  You may plan a robbery and get arrested together but the impact of the problem that you seemingly share is very individual.

People also tend to question the wisdom of people who have independent minds. If you can think and act as an individual, then you are truly free and you are a leader worth following.

Learn to be as comfortable alone as you are in the company of your friends. Times come when making that independent choice that separates you from others is key.

People follow leaders, stand out and they will strive to fit in.