STAND OUT AND THEY WILL FIT IN

You may have ever had the feeling to please someone desperately. You may also have found yourself in a place where you feel like you have to make a choice between doing something that you feel that you have to do and doing something that someone wishes you to do. It feels like it is a hard choice if it is someone who you wish to make happy.

Learn to be as comfortable alone as you are in the company of your friends. 

A time comes when your joy comes from your achievements. You start achievements then you realize that you have to sometimes act as you deem right to achieve your goals. This is a very important step towards independence. Remember that being able to support your self is your greatest contribution to the society.

It is natural at any point in life to feel the need to be the alpha (influential person, leader, head). Just like you, the people around you have the same desire to be the alpha. Naturally they will try to make you follow them most of the time to satisfy this desire. But you should always remember that the most important thing is to make yourself independent. No man is an island but try all the possible times to be an island. Let people follow you and fit your description of friend and choose among your friends those who are as independent as you.

Do not always be the one to follow, learn to be alone. Then slowly people will learn to follow you, do not be the one to always take example of others, and sometimes be the one setting the example.  Just be yourself. Allow yourself to listen to advice but take actions whose consequences you are 100% ready to handle.

Do not be hard and unconcerned about others, but have a few things that you hold close and you would not give them up. Let people identify you with them, whether you fit in or not. You now things that are truly right, you can follow when someone is truly right and it is the right time to.

Most of the problems people sort are caused by the fear to be alone. If you can see that the choice is independent as much as you make it to fit in you can be liberated. You may start binge drinking as a group and all of you become alcoholics, but each of you will be dealing with the problem individually.  You may plan a robbery and get arrested together but the impact of the problem that you seemingly share is very individual.

People also tend to question the wisdom of people who have independent minds. If you can think and act as an individual, then you are truly free and you are a leader worth following.

Learn to be as comfortable alone as you are in the company of your friends. Times come when making that independent choice that separates you from others is key.

People follow leaders, stand out and they will strive to fit in.