Thursday 1 October 2015

DEALING WITH DESPAIR

Many of the people reading this post are familiar with despair. That feeling of not going on with whatever you are doing. This feeling can be strong enough to lead a person to give up on life and opt to conclude it or just mild and can last only for a few days, a few hours, a few minutes or a few seconds.

The very foundation of this feeling is a state of crushed optimism. There are times when despair is actually helpful, but there are times when it is not a question. Despairing when you are in an abusive relationship can be a beginning to search for a good relationship. Sometimes giving in to despair can open your eyes to new hope.

However you must know that there are some things you should never despair about; living and yourself. If you do that you are slowly getting destroyed. You can despair about the methods you use to achieve your goals that you hold so dear if they have consistently failed you but never despair about the goal. There are many ways of killing a rat, you can sit on it, and you can set a trap or poison it. You can despair on killing a rat by sitting on it but not killing the rat. You can despair in keeping a relationship where you are being abused, but never give up on enjoying new relationships.

No emotion in a man is valueless even despair is valuable; the most important thing is how to deal with the emotion. Do not fear the feeling of despair, but fear the feeling of despair on your life goals, yourself and life. Despair on your life, yourself or your goals can destroy and make you lose a lot.


Despair has only one remedy; hope. Hope is the possibility of success even when it seems impossible to attain. It takes away the despair and keeps you moving. It is not wrong to fail to achieve a goal using a particular method; your success can come through another method.

To gain hope when despair has set in, you can possibly accept it and allow it to settle. Then take a positive look at it. Look at what caused it and what you can do about it then face your despair. Above everything look at the possibility of you achieving the goal you set out to achieve.

Do not lie to yourself that that you are facing a desperate situation, but take conscious steps to live normally. Most importantly take your time to eat, play and talk as usual. Take deliberate actions to act normally with people. When there is great need, tell people you are bound to deal with that you are dealing with a situation. When you act normally the internal body acts in a way to support this positive life and feeling. That way you will overcome despair.


 Allow the feeling to pass but do not allow it to determine who you will be when it lasts.

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