HEALING POWER OF FORGIVENESS

 It is natural for human being to offend us as it is also natural to feel angry when they do so. We naturally feel the need to revenge believing that it is the only just course to go about an offence. Anger is emotionally stressing for us and not letting go of it naturally comes with all stress related health problems.

Anger if held for too long can result into depression that can even turn to clinical depression. Anger like any other stressing emotions requires the afflicted person to find a way to cope with it. A possible way to deal with it is revenge, but it is unfortunate to discover that this coping mechanism may result into a vicious circle of revenge. Another possible way of dealing with anger is forgiveness, it may take some time to forget but this method relieves absolutely.

I do not have better way to define well being other than a sound state of physical, mental and social health. To say that you are experiencing well being, you need to be free from disease physically, mentally comfortable and socially have healthy relationships.

Your mental health is closely woven and depends heavily on your social health. To be mentally well you need to have a good social support network to help you cope with some problems in life. To have healthy social relation with the backdrop of many offences;forgiveness is necessary. To have a relationship we need love, but we cannot love people because they never make mistakes. We love them because we are able to forgive them when they are wrong.

Being alone most of the time and casting away relationships because of your unforgiving nature is an undoing to your mental health. Stressed state of mind is also a predisposition for an unhealthy body.

Have you ever asked yourself the number of times you have offended others and asked or wished for their forgiveness? Is it not comforting to know that you do not enjoy the monopoly of making people happy and that you have your fair share of the people you have annoyed? Is this reflection not a good reason to forgive those who offend you?

We also have our own failings in life that show up most of the time. We have enough reason to blame and condemn our selves. But that with each passing day after the crime on self becomes less valuable. The cost of maintaining self blame is higher than the cost of facing the future the way it has reshaped its self.

The whole purpose of guilt and remorse should be for your learning. Remember the past only as a teacher not a punishment. Otherwise you lose strength and focus that you need to achieve your life goals.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

When offended by another

Take your time, as much time you need to overcome the burdens that you carry. Give up your choice to revenge and start getting over the pain as a slow process. Accept that you were offended and that you want to get over it.

Decide in your mind that your action of choice is not revenge or contempt. Think about it and if there is need, you may talk to the offender, especially if two of you are in talking terms. Remember that some people made the error you are hungry about and are very sorry. You need to forgive them to heal your own self

When you blame your self

If it is yourself you have to forgive, it may take some time. But the first thing you should try doing is writing a list of things that you do or are that make you proud of yourself.  Look at them and try to think of them as a good purpose to forgive yourself and continue with your good work.

Deal with the problem; if you need to ask for forgiveness please do. If it calls for change, positively think of changing. If you feel a little bit incompetent, you can take your time to improve.

Focus on the future and what you have to do next time. Not in the past and what is done.

Today try hard to find in your heart a way to forgive those who offend you for your own sake or even yourself.

Focus on forgiveness.